No excuses - Part 1

This part 1 of a series on my battle with cigarettes.


"No excuses that I know" - Alice in Chains

Just a short while ago I was going to go out and get some cigarettes because I was running low. Of course I get the usual riot act from my wife about it. Not really that bad but it's usually goes something like "Why do you smoke when you know it'll kill you?". How do you rebut a question like that honestly? You can't really. Of course my 5 year old son doesn't help much by saying stuff like "I don't want you to die Dad.". Perhaps he really is helping me in his own way. Even though he may be only five his words way heavy on my heart.

I'm a forty one year old male who has been smoking since I was about fourteen. It 's probably a familiar story how I started. I don't remember how exactly it started but it was with a close friend of mine Roger. I know it could be a cop out to blame him but I'm not going to do that. I made my own decision to start and I take responsibility for it. At first we used to sneak our parents cigarettes or whoever we could borrow from at the time. I lived with my grandparents and Mother all of whom smoked so it wasn't too hard to "bum" a smoke. I remember my kid brother finding one of my packs and promptly informing my mother. Of course I took the usual denial root at first but after a persistent interrogation I confessed. She wasn't visibly too upset that I was smoking but wanted me to be honest about it. For many years after ward she'd even buy them for me.

I at first didn't really feel the effects of smoking perhaps until I was tested physically tested when I was in basic training in the army. I had problems mainly in the running part of training. I frequently fell out of formation during a PT(Physical Training) run. One drill Sergeant pretty much ordered me to quit which I sort of did for a couple of weeks but I was soon after back smoking again. For my two years in service I always had a problem with PT.